#41 - Marple: Why Didn't They Ask Evans? (2009)

I'm home from work today because I got sick yesterday, got no work done, then woke up feeling just as bad.  I think I'm getting better, but that's hard to say because I have alternating periods of hot flashes (menopause!) and chills.  It's pretty awesome, I must say.

Now, you are all very lucky (as am I, of course) that I am still around, in my weakened condition, to give you another entry.  This movie should have had a warning attached to it: In the words of "Weevil" Navarro, you "could be bored to death."

This movie was dreadfully dull.  My word.  And it was convoluted, too, so that even when Marple "wrapped everything up", I was like... really? Not at all satisfactory.  And much of the acting was ARG! First off, where the hell is Geraldine McEwan, the real Miss Marple? She was glorious, the perfect amount of eye-winking and straightforwardness that any Christie fan loves from her popular character.  This new version leaves a lot to be desired, rushing through all her lines and just standing there all the time and doing nothing. BLECH. (Btw, IMDb tells me that McEwan retired from the role two years ago.  So very sad.)  The daughter was exactly like every overwrought high school actress, the son was completely placid until there was some tension, so of course, he began to shake and "show nerves" by talking quickly (oh my god), and the "inspector" was blustery (big shock) and the horticulturist (yes, there was one) was odd, and the main female protagonist was "full of fire and music" (do you know the movie reference?).  I was so over it.  The one bright spot was Oliver Wood (the actor who played him in the Harry Potter series) who was pretty and actually perfect for his role.  Agatha would have been pleased.  But, really, only with him.

The movie was irksome in more ways, as well: characters appear out of nowhere-- for dramatic effect, it is to be assumed-- but under the most improbable circumstances.  You mean to tell me that none of the three characters talking in a field could see the approach of the person they were talking about until he was two feet from them? Fer chrissakes.  Other characters appear at doorways and on balconies as though jettisoning them into the scenery apparently au moment was the only possible way of misleading the audience or increasing suspense. 

I'm sure I'll watch more Christie adaptations: I'll need to in order to right this horrible horrible wrong.

Score: 3.5/10