#17 - Troll 2 (1990)

Hey all! Blogging from Kalamazoo this weekend, where I'm spending a couple days with my friends Dan and Marianne, because tonight we had a viewing party of one of the most notoriously bad movies of all time: Troll 2. 

Now, you may be thinking, "Well, I can't possibly see this movie because I haven't seen Troll 1." 

You'd be both right and wrong.

You'd be right because you shouldn't see this movie. Not ever.

But you'd be wrong, because you'd have assumed that this was a sequel to a movie called Troll. That doesn't exist.  Also, there are no trolls in the movie.

Troll count = 0.  For all 93 minutes.

This piece of shit has some of the worst acting known to man, and as Dan pointed out, every character is bad in his or her own way.  They all find ways to "shine".

There is the consummate over-acter who longs for the parts where she can be as crazy as can be; there is the monotone "I'm-reading-all-my-lines-straight-off-the-cue-cards" Kirsten Dunst acting style; there is the "worst-high-school-actor-who-inexplicably-gets-all-the-good-parts" chick; there's just so much that could have gone wrong, and it all did.

Of course, we all knew going into it how crappy it is, and our sole intention going into it was to mock it as we did "The Room," but that didn't make this movie any more palatable.  Combine this with the fact that it's supposed to be a rabid anti-vegetarianism cautionary tale (WTF?!) and you have a total lack of, well, anything.

Score: 1.5/10 (With "The Room" being a 1.0/10)
Experience and enjoyment level from watching it with everyone and laughing at it: 10/10